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Relationship

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Practicing Mindfulness in Your Relationship

What does it mean to be mindful in your relationship?

Mindfulness in your relationship is a relationship that fosters maximum psychological and spiritual growth. It is a relationship that is created by becoming conscious and cooperating with the fundamental drives of the mind:  to be safe, to be healed, and to be whole. 

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Binocular Vision not Monocular Vision: Increasing Your Knowledge of Yourself and Your Partner

Although we all agree in theory that our partners have their own point of view and their own valid perception of interactions, at the emotional level, we are reluctant to accept this simple truth. We like to believe that the way we see the world is the way the world is. When our partner disagrees with us, it is tempting to think that they have a distorted point of view or are ill-informed. 

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Relationship Revolution: Through Intentions and Resolve

It’s that time of year again when we hear about our friends New Year’s Resolutions. 

Eat healthy. Work out more. Give up that terrible vice.  There are so many and they’re so personal.  But for 2015, I’d like to suggest one that could be the most important of them all.  One that could be the domino that knocks all of them into action:  Developing your best relationships.

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To Open or Not Open Your Relationship

Last week at a party, my friend introduced his other partner.  Yes, he’s identifies as gay and open.  This was the first time I was meeting his second of two partners (Clint and Ruben, the names have been changed to protect the innocent).  

Another friend perked up after the second partner left, “So how does this all work exactly?”

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Mindfulness as a Key to Successful Relationships

We all get triggered in our relationships, and we all have moments we wish we could take back. Whether we can have a satisfying relationship isn’t determined by the above but by our ability to deal with these situations in a healthy way. Mindfulness is a great tool to help us go through life with more ease as individuals, to support our relationship with one another, and in particular our intimate relationships. Some of the ways mindfulness can support your relationship is by reducing the amounts of conflicts you have. When in conflict, mindfulness can help you resolve it and bounce back faster, ultimately you can have a more intimate and fulfilling relationships.

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Re-engaging in your relationship

Early in your relationship, chances are that you did things together that were really enjoyable. These may have been activities that you would have enjoyed doing with anybody or maybe they were things you did that were special because you did them together. However, as conflict grew and tension mounted, you may have stopped doing these fun activities, indeed maybe you have stopped or curtailed many activities together. The pleasant fun, close times that resulted from shared activities became fewer and farther between and you have lost some energy and enthusiasm for each other. Maybe it has even seemed like your relationship is withering away. The purpose of this blog is to help you start to reactivate and reinvigorate your relationship, doing more things and spend more time together, helping your relationship thrive again.

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Recognizing the Blame-Withraw Cycle in your relationship

The person we most love and feel the safest with, is also the person that can bring us down into despair.  And it generally takes remarkably little to send us crashing down.  A slight change of facial expression, an off kilter tone, or careless remark may be all it takes.  It is the very connection with our partner that creates such vulnerability and potential for problems.  If misread, these signals escalate into conflicts that cause such destruction, it could lead to the end of the relationship. However, if this connection is strengthened with safety and awareness, then true intimacy can be achieved.

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Creating a validating relationship

Okay so you are in the middle of an argument and you desperately want your partner to understand you, validate you, and agree with you.  But he, she or ze is just as upset as you are and not showing any signs that they are going to validate you.  We all know that when we are invalidated, our arousal goes up and we feel that mixture of hurt, anger, and fear.  Sometimes your reaction would be to run because you are hurt or for fear of further hurt.  And other times you will attack because sometimes fear turns into anger very fast.  Thus, the signs that you are in an invalidation cycle are in full swing.

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